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Category archives for:
Viewpoints
Freshman Switches from Being Outcast at Weston to Being Outcast at Allen
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It’s not easy being green. Just ask John Grimps, freshman in LAS, who has struggled at acclimating to dorm culture. ”At first I thought it was living in the Six Pack, and not fitting in with the alcohol scene,” Grimps said. “But the artists hate me just as much.” A change of pace was recommended [...]
Sexy Sexyisms, With Lysander Muffley
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Hello, valued readers! I hope your day is going well. Since you’re reading this fine publication, that must mean that you’re not currently sharing a holding cell with me in the venerated drunk tank of the fine city of Wauwatosa, so bully for you! In any case, thanks to the fine technological wizards here at [...]
Things That Piss Me Off: Dining Hall Workers
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So, let me start this off by saying I’m aware that I complain quite a bit. And when I say “quite a bit,” I mean, “every time I open my God forsaken mouth.” As a Jew, I feel like it’s in my nature to take the most beautiful elements of the world around us, and [...]
One Night Stand
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Listen. I know we’re drunk. That’s why we’re here. But I shouldn’t have to tell you to lock the door so your roommate doesn’t come in. Are those comic book themed candles you are lighting? Don’t get me wrong, I like comic books. But you probably don’t want me comparing your body to Spiderman’s right [...]
Ben & Jerry’s
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I can tell you’re judging me, Brendan. You’re noticing how for the third night in a row, I’ve come in here wearing the same flannel pajamas to buy two pints of ice cream. You don’t say anything rude, but your eyes do all the talking. You’re thinking “Ma’am, I suggest you shower” or “Are you aware [...]